


Hold me tight, I'm coming undone

by SmolMo



Series: How to safe a life [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: #I would totally like to be spooned by Atsumu Miya, #sakusa kiyoomi/reader, Angst, Bed Hair, Blanket Hogging, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Grey's Anatomy References, He is also your bestie, Little Mermaid references, MSBY Black Jackals are idiots, Miya Atsumu is a Little Shit, Pro Volleyball Player Sakusa Kiyoomi, Roomates, Sakusa and Y/N are idiots, Sharing beds, Shirabu Kenjirou is a Little Shit, Slow Burn, damn the AC is not working, how to save a life series, oh no, omg they were roomates, pillow hugger, reader is a surgical resident, that damn mosquito, what a pity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:22:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28249830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmolMo/pseuds/SmolMo
Summary: It was the middle of the night when Sakusa heard the rattling out of your room. He woke up, disturbed by the noise but wondered in the same instant if he'd only imagined it? The sound was gone…. or just drowned out by the consistent noise of his AC. The recent heatwave that had come with the beginning of August was taking a toll even on your usual cool apartment.He groaned and shifted, rolling to his side and buried his face into his pillow again when he heard the sound again, repeatedly.The tapping of footsteps on the floor, a rattling followed by a thump and a curse. Okay…either you were sleepwalking and trying to wrestle an opponent in your sleep, or something was up.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Sakusa Kiyoomi & Reader, Sakusa Kiyoomi/Reader
Series: How to safe a life [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1988641
Comments: 43
Kudos: 140





	1. Hold me tight, I'm coming undone

**Author's Note:**

> warning: slightly suggested themes ( not really)
> 
> Titled inspired by the song:  
> (”We’re f****d, it’s fine”- Jeremy Zucker)

It was the middle of the night when Sakusa heard the rattling out of your room. He woke up, disturbed by the noise but wondered in the same instant if he'd only imagined it? The sound was gone…. or just drowned out by the consistent noise of his AC. The recent heatwave that had come with the beginning of August was taking a toll even on your usual cool apartment.

He groaned and shifted, rolling to his side and buried his face into his pillow again when he heard the sound again, repeatedly.

The tapping of footsteps on the floor, a rattling followed by a thump and a curse. Okay…either you were sleepwalking and trying to wrestle an opponent in your sleep, or there was something up.

Maybe you had something to drink when you were at Shirabu's this evening. You'd texted him this afternoon that the two of you were studying for an upcoming test in your residency.

But then again, you wouldn't be here, responsible as you were, you would never drink and drive….

He heard the tapping of your steps again and clapping…not the consistent cheering kind put several irregular claps after another and more cursing.

Sakusa sight and tried to ignore your antics once more, too tired to think and after all…it seems that you've decided to settle down…there was no more noise… you'd probably won the wrestling match….

No…he was wrong…you made noises again, a sudden thud and tapping as if you were running around in your room.

Maybe this was the day you finally went mad and decided to ran amok? Sakusa sighed as he threw off the blanket and slid into his slippers, stretching a little before making his way out of his room.

He waited at your door, listened, and heard another thud as if something fell on the floor. You let out another curse, and Sakusa decided to open the door.

He didn't know how to interpret the situation at hand.

First and foremost, his unexpected arrival scared you to death. Maybe he should have announced himself first because you jumped backward and high into the air and somehow landed on your bed without any significant injuries. (Maybe your pride and dignity...but hey...who needs those.)

Blinking at him, arms raised, holding an edition of a thick anatomy book.

Sakusa stared at you, a wild expression in your eyes, hair spread wild onto your shoulder's except one part still looped into the hair tie, the only remains of your messy bun.

You were in your sleeping clothes, which he realized was next to nothing…. shorts and a tank top…. which would be too cold for sleeping under an AC…but then he remembered that you told him that your AC wasn't working correctly and that combined with the current heatwave in August was not a good combination.

Kiyoomi, on the other hand, was dressed in long thin plaid blue sleeping pajamas and a loose-fitting navy t-shirt. His hair swept into the wrong direction, and he was pouting a little, traces of sleep still on his face.

His face was a little puffy…and his lips were a bit swollen and pinker than usual.

You let the book drop on your foot, and you yelped up in pain. You bent down, slipping off the bed slightly, and the book bounces off the mattress.

"What are you doing Y/N?" Sakusa croaked, his voiced thick with sleepiness.

"I just dropped a book on my foot what do you think I'm doing?" you winced, rubbing your foot to ease off the pain.

He shook his head, slightly amused by your answer.

"Yes, I saw that…but why did you have the book in the first place?" he sighed and glanced around your room; several things were knocked off and scattered on the floor…. which explained the thumping sounds. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Oh shit," you groaned, realizing the lateness of the hour, "I woke you up!"

"Yeah…" Sakusa nodded. "So…since we are awake… what's causing you to thump around like that? Studying can't be that hard?"

"Um…. you see," you replied, blushing a little bit, "I've tried to sleep…but there is this mosquito in my room what won't leave me alone…. every time I am about to sleep that little fucker comes buzzing in my ear and well…"

"You're trying to kill the insect…." He sighed and put a hand on his hips as he glanced over the chaos again, then at you giving you a slight hint of a smile.

"You know…you won't be able to kill that thing…right…not without spraying the room with something…"

"Geez, Yoomi I know that," you retorted and seized the book from the floor, dropping it onto the bed. "But if I do that I need to wait until the spray is aired out so I can sleep and I don't have the time to wait and kill it…"

Sakusa sighed and put his fingers on the bridge of his nose. "So you decided to go on a hunt for the little pest instead."

"Yes, because mosquitos have a lifespan of freaking 7 days and I don't want to be used as an all-you-can-eat buffet for a tiny bloodsucker all week!" you huffed.

"So…you decide to hunt a mosquito," Sakusa inquired again to clarify your excellent plan and put his fingers on the bridge of his nose as if he was ready to scold you like a little kid.

"You come with a better idea if you're so clever!" you huffed and pulled out the hair tie, shaking your hair loose, then moved to tie it up again.

Sakusa watched you, pouting and looking amazingly messy overall, and wondered what would happen if he acted on the thought that had just come up in his head.

"Sleep with me…" he blurted out, then realized what he just said.

Fuck…no…. not like that. He felt the heat rise in his face.

Your eyes widened in shock, and you froze in your motion to tie your hair. Your hairband snapped from the tension.

"Uh… I mean…" he sputtered, blushing profusely before clearing his throat. "Come sleep in my room…there is no mosquito there and I have a functioning AC."

"Ahh… that's what you mean," you chuckled nervously, feeling the hot tingle in your own face. "Um…yeah…I really don't wanna bother you and stuff…and it's not that uncomfortable."

"Yeah…clearly… it's boiling in here Y/n." Sakusa related, somehow able to utter words even though his throat felt dry and tight. He gained his composure again, although his heart was racing.

It was sweltering in the room…and Sakusa had the suspicion that it was not only because of your broken AC.

"It's not actual-" you responded, but suddenly stopped because you heard that buzzing again. "Meet your doom bloodsucker."

Quickly, you grabbed the book and whipped around to knock an empty plastic cup off your bedside table. It flew in Sakusa's direction, who avoided it by stepping aside. The glass made a noise as it landed somewhere in the living room.

"Uh…. C'mon!" you groaned, realizing that you didn't get the insect.

"Alright… that's it…" Kiyoomi sighed and quickly closed the distance between you. "I'm too tired for this shit…."

He said and grabbed the book out of your hands and threw it on the bed. "Let's go…"

Sakusa looked down at you, glaring at him and his mouth twitched into a slight smirk. He took a step between your legs.

"Yoomi? What are you…? I really don't- KIYOOMI!"

You felt his large hands quickly lifting you up by your legs, easily as if you were a ragdoll. He almost threw you over his shoulder if it wasn't for him being so gentle about it. You were draped over his enormous shoulders, your face, hit his back as he gently supported your waist with his arms snaked around it.

"Yoomi…. let me down!"

"Nope," he said, patting the small of your back cheekily with his hand.

"Grab your phone and pager from the night stand… they're the only thing you'll need right? "

He turned you towards your nightstand and bent his knees a little, so you were able to retrieve your devices from the nightstand.

Then proceeded to carry you over to his room. You tried to cover your face with your hands as you felt the redness tingling. It wouldn't have mattered. Nobody saw you two, and your hair loosely hanging off was hiding your face either way.

"Wow…you really weigh nothing," he said as he closed the door to his room with his foot, and you heard the amused tone in his voice, teasing you.

The temperature difference in Kiyoomi's room was immediate, and you felt the goosebumps on your skin. Still, before you could complain, Sakusa let you go so, you flopped you onto the bed.

You squeaked as your back hit the mattress, but it was so soft that you weren't hurt. Propping yourself up on your elbows, you blew a strain of hair out of your face. Then proceeded to gawk up angrily at Sakusa, who suddenly hid his mouth behind the palm of his hands and looked away.

He made a motion and grabbed something off his chair and threw it at you, a t-shirt of his. A casual black shirt you'd wore before on that day when Hinata's nosebleed had ruined your favorite white blouse.

"What am I supposed to do with that?" you grumbled, feeling the cotton fabric in your fingers. Soft...

"Just put it on goddamn it Y/N," Sakusa told, refusing to look at you. "You'll catch a cold with the AC on and you dressed like...like that…."

You looked down at yourself. He was right. The tank top was a little cold. You shrugged as you pulled on the shirt…. shit….it smelled like him...damn, you thought as you slipped it over your head. It was, of course, too big on you and covered your shorts, but more distracting was Kiyoomi's scent lingering on the cloth that was now on your body.

Shit, the opposite hitter thought as he watched your pull out your hair from under the shirt's collar…. that was maybe not the best Idea Sakusa had.

His original plan with the t-shirt was to cover up your cleavage, which you didn't even notice had been a little too exposed to him in that position you were in.

So tiny staring up at him with that intense glare…but seeing you in his T-shirt with the MSBY logo on it…made him feel something…made him think thought that were not that pure….

He promptly got hold of the blanket and threw it over your head, burying you underneath. You squeaked once more in protest and tried with thrashing limbs to get out of the tangled mess,

"You need something else?" he grunted, defiant not to look at you, and got on his side of the bed…wait, this was his bed…. since when were there sides?

"No…I think I'm good." You uttered, finally freed and wiggled under the cover, prepping one of the silk pillows for yourself, "why do you have so two pillows?"

"Because I'm not a heathen like you who just has one," Sakusa grunted and got into the sheets himself.

His foot brushed your bare legs for a moment, and he quickly retracted it.

"Soo…rumors are true that you're a pillow hugger?" you snickered and turned on your stomach so you could see his reaction better.

Last week some low-quality sports magazine online had brought out an article about V-League players and their favorite sleeping positions, all with illustrations. It was supposed to be a medical analysis of some sort, but the comment section was filled with thirst comments.

# I would totally like to be spooned by Atsumu Miya  
Was one hashtag Sakusa really never wanted to see again.

"So you read that stupid article?" Sakusa glanced at you with a smile. "Ridiculous isn't it?"

"It was pretty funny…" You admitted with a yawn, "But is it true tho?".

"Yes…" Sakusa exposed and turned on his side to watch you. "Sometimes I do…but you're using up the other pillow so…not tonight."

"Should I got and get one of my pillows then?" you whispered, already drifting into sleep.

"Naa…you just stay here…" he responded and brushed a strain of hair out of your face. "I think I can find other things to hug…. if that's okay…."

"Hmm," you muttered with a smile, "…as long as you don't buzz in my ear…."

"Oh noo what a shame…" he gave a fake exhalation of disappointment.

"You're not very funny Yoomi," you mumbled into the silk pillow and stretched out a little.

"I'm hilarious actually…" he stated, then hissed because your cold feet touched. "What the hell Y/N?"

"Sorry," you quickly said, curling up to retreat your feet. "It's a little cold…"

"Maybe, but why are your feet icicles?" Kiyoomi sighed as you tugged at the blanket. Yeah, right, you weren't just a little cold. "Should I turn the AC down?"

"I'll be okay…" you grumbled, "I'll keep the icicles away…"

"You're also hogging the blanket…." He lamented and pulled the blanket back to his side more.

"Alright, alright… I'll just go and get my own…" You snapped and turned around to get up, but a muscular arm snaked around your midriff and held you back slightly.

"No…" he grunted with half-lidded eyes, turned your head slightly to see him blush a little.

"C'mere…" Sakusa mumbled in a velvety voice and pulled you back with a firm grip until your back hit Kiyoomi's chest gently and whispered on top of your hair, "Stay… We'll share…."

You breathed deeply and mumbled a quiet: "Alright….," in defeat.  
There was warm, comfortable heat radiating off his body, alluring you in. So, you decided to turn around, so you were able to breathe in his calming scent as you buried your nose into his chest.

"Good…" Kiyoomi whispered sleepily and nestled his chin on top of your hair. He grinned and couldn't hold back his next snarky remark, "I really wasn't fond of having your hair in my mouth…."

"I can always get up and got get a hair tie…" your threat would probably have been more efficient if you didn't end it with a yawn.

"No…." he simply declared, draped an arm over your hip, as if ready to pull you back in…just in case, and grumbled. "Go to sleep…"

"yeah…right…pillow hugger…." you murmured.

"What can I say, little plum" Kiyoomi smiled, digging his nose into your hair "... you're a nice pillow to hug."


	2. All the gravity between us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of fluff is great when followed with a pinch of ANGST  
> MUHAHAHAHAH
> 
> Also there is some medical jibberish in this chap...and I have no clue of that's even correct. To be honest I've just taken that from a Grey's's anatomy episode :P

Sakusa woke up, expecting to look into your face and having his arms wrapped around you. Because that’s the way, he’d remembered he had fallen asleep. Bodies entangled, sweet innocent touches, breath brushing against skin, and the just comfort of each other’s heartbeat. But no, when he woke up, you were gone. The bed seemed empty and too big without you.

He sighed and rolled from his side to his back, releasing the pillow he’d been hugging instead of you, and pondered if he had grabbed it during his sleep because it had traces of your scent lingering on it.

Or…was it you who’d put it into his embrace? He didn’t even notice that you’d woken up or gotten any calls or pages, which was strange. Sometimes he was able to hear the beeping from your room through the walls but not today…tonight.

He turned to check his phone. Usually, you’d write him a message whenever you got called in to let him know that you would be gone but not today. No new messages or calls…maybe you’d woken up and were somewhere in the apartment making breakfast…. oh, he could get used to the idea of you waking up and making breakfast for him.

But no…you weren’t in the apartment, not in your room, not in the bathroom, your keys and shoes were gone. There were hardly any traces of you that he could have sworn that you weren’t even in the apartment last night. The cup in the living room was in the sink.

The only thing that let him know you had some time before you left was the fact that he saw that you’d put a load of laundry in the machine. Everything set. The on-button ready to be pressed. Sakusa noticed, with a little frown, that you’d thrown in the t-shirt you’d been wearing overnight.

You’d had time to change before you left the apartment, and you’d decided to shed off his shirt and wash it…as if you chose to get rid of the evidence of you two sharing the bed.

Sakusa felt queasy, wondering why he suddenly felt concerned. And a thought came to his mind that you might have done this deliberately, and he started to panic a little. Had he gone too far too soon?

🏐 😷 🏥 🏐 😷 🏥 🏐 😷 🏥 🏐 😷 🏥

That you had panicked was an understatement. You’d woken up by the buzz of a benign email you’d received on your phone shortly after 12 am, and your brain interpreted it as the buzzing of your pager. You’d turned around to look at the devices and frowned at the light coming from the display of your phone. Angry that it had woken you up because you felt so damn comfortable with Kiyoomi’s arms around you. Arms that had gripped you tighter and pulled you closer to him in response to you turning around.

It had hit you, you were sharing a bed with Sakusa Kiyoomi, your roommate and somewhat…newly found crush? He was so close that you felt his breath tickle the hairs on your neck, making them stand up, and he murmured something in his sleep…your name…and you started to panic….I mean, that’s what it was, wasn’t it? Panic, your heartbeat picking up just like your breath, with you, tried to control by steady breathing but it didn’t help matters.

Hot and cold shivers ran through your body because of the proximity, and you couldn’t remember the last time you were held like this. The answer was never…you realized, and it scared you.

It freaking terrified you because you didn’t know what to do if this would not work out…if by any chance, you’d interpreted the signs wrong. There was nothing more to his affection than occasional cuddles.

Your mind started racing; you would not be able to do this a second time. Frankly, the break up with Yoshio had been sharp, but this was also due to him not being the most affectionate boyfriend. He never casually snuggled, even after you two had been intimate. Heck, whenever you slept in the same bed, he’d always turned his back on you, claiming he needed his proper sleep. Which you understood. You needed rest too with your schedule…

And then there was Kiyoomi, who had taken a long time to accept pats on the back from his teammates. He was showing you so much affection that he was able to hug you. If this didn’t work out…you wouldn’t be able to get over this…you were far more emotionally attached to him than you realized…

Whenever that happened, you fled. Flight or fight…you flew…it had become a pattern somehow. You’d somehow managed you detangle yourself from him without waking up and jostled your pillow into his arms, tugged him in, crept out of the room, and changed the t-shirt that was clinging to your skin.

You threw it in the washing machine, along with some other clothes, and put on some freshly washed scrubs. You decide to drive to work early and grab some food from a 24hour shop on the way there…way before…there were on-call rooms where you could sleep, maybe do some charting…see what’s happening in the ER.

🏐 😷 🏥 🏐 😷 🏥 🏐 😷 🏥 🏐 😷 🏥

“You look like Shit,” Shirabu commented once again as the two of you settled down in the gallery overviewing the current bypass operation that was happening in the operation theater. It was twelve hours later, and you had slept ...correction napped for an hour.

“At least I have a decent hairdresser, Kenjiro,” you huffed and sipped on your third coffee for the morning while leaning in to watch the operation.

“You really need to come up with more creative comments Y/N,” the copper-haired man said and seized the drink from your hand. “And enough with the caffeine… you’re already very anxious today…I don’t think I could handle you in hyperactive mode…”

He sighed and looked at you. “What’s going on? Are you sad that’s not you down there…?”

You both glanced at the resident who had chosen to assist. She was in your year.

“No…” you uttered, “Maiko was the best prepared for this one…”

“Is it one of your patients?” he inquired, sipping the coffee and groaned, “Ugh…mocha…really?”

“No….and if you’re complaining about my drink choice you can just give it back,” you snapped, reaching out for the cup, but Shirabu had already chugged the rest of the drink down.

“Don’t tell me it’s Nakamura again?” he lamented. “If he tried to get with you again I swear I’m going to deck his annoying ass…:”

“And you’d be arrested for physical assault,” you huffed, then added, “It’s not Yoshio….”

“So It’s your swoon-worthy, Adonis of a roommate, you like to simp over?” he concluded, and you smacked his shoulder.

“Say’s the one who has life sized a cut out of Ushijima Wakatoshi,” you snapped back, but Kenjiro grinned. “You didn’t deny it…”

“Shut up.”

“Really, Y/N why has that Jon Snow rip off got you so on edge….” he glanced at you chewing your bottom lip. “Don’t tell me I have to kick his ass too…because frankly he is very tall and I doubt I would have a real chance against him…”

“He hasn’t really done anything…” you knit your hands together in frustration. “It’s just…. I’m just…I don’t… and if anything, goes wrong…I will…”

“Geez Y/N you’re acting like such a teenager,” Shirabu sighed and rubbed his forehead. “What are you so afraid of? Him liking…heck loving you? It’s irrational… you’re a freaking surgeon use that brain of yours to think straight…and besides. Isn’t there this saying, better to love and loose then never being loved at all?”

“I just can’t afford to lose him too…” you muttered and leaned more forward so Shirabu couldn’t see your face anymore.

Shirabu didn’t press the matter as he as well leaned forward to take a closer look. He eventually started up a conversation again, wondering options what the cafeteria would have for lunch when your pagers beeped.

“It’s the ER,” you spoke and stood up and bustled outside.

“Aaand there goes lunch.” Shirabu groaned, hurrying along with you.

🏐 😷 🏥 🏐 😷 🏥 🏐 😷 🏥 🏐 😷 🏥

Sakusa spends the first half of the day brooding. He’d gone out for a run, did an online Pilates class to strengthen his core, and even went out to go grocery shopping since it was his turn. He had lunch, hung up the laundry, packed his bag got changed to go to the MSBY Gym. They had a late afternoon meeting about the upcoming training camp trip and an evening practice due to some widow maintenance.

Now he was brooding during the meeting and practically glared at their young manager Mori’s PowerPoint was flipping through in the conference room.

“Sakusa-senshu?” the young boy asked. “Are you not happy with the hotel, I can assure you I’ve checked that their facilities are extra hygienic.”

Sakusa didn’t reply. He had his chin propped up against his fist and continued staring holes into the picture of the lovely resort they would spend a week at.

“Omi-Omi? Are you even here?” Atsumu waved a hand in front of his face, which the curly-haired spiker swatted away like a nasty bug.

“The facilities are fine…” he grunted and leaned back.

“Don’t ya worry about it Mori-kun,” Atsumu remarked casually, flicking back his hair. “Omi-Omi is probably just men-strating.”

Sakusa glared at the blonde little shit, which the setter returned with a kissy face. Would anybody say something if he just murdered Atsumu Miya right then and there?

“Stop it you two,” Meian sighed and turned to Mori. “Please continue…”

“So… I’ve heard that a week after us the EJP Raijin team is visiting the same place…so I’ve been thinking it would be a good idea if we could arrange a practice match…but it’s not confirmed but we might have to extend out stay for a few days.”

“Sweet,” Atsumu declared, “I’ve been waiting for another chance to show Sunarin whose boss!”

“Atsumu, please don’t start picking fights with your former teammates before we even get there,” Meian groaned.

“Motoya-kun will be there too aren’t you excited to see your dear cousin again Omi-Omi?” Atsumu spoke and patted Kiyoomi’s shoulder.

“Yeah, guess…” Kiyoomi sighed and glared at his phone again, still no new messages from you. “How much longer do we have to listen to this?”

“If you need to make a call you can step outside,” Coach Foster nodded approvingly, “Because we also have to talk about the Charity Gala at the end of September.”

“Great….” Kiyoomi rested his forehead on the table, grunted into the wood, “Never mind, carry on.”

🏐 😷 🏥 🏐 😷 🏥 🏐 😷 🏥 🏐 😷 🏥

The universe seemed to hate you…you indeed didn’t have the mindset to deal with him today. You sighed as you saw Yoshio Nakamura approaching the darkroom where you and Shirabu were waiting for your Neurology Attending, smirking at the sight of you.

“Ah…Shirabu-chan,” Yoshio snarled. “Y/N-chan…the twisted  
sisters of sugery what an honor…”

“Ew…Piss off,” Shirabu muttered and rolled his eyes.

“Such bad manners, Y/N I really thought you’d have a  
better taste in friends…I can offer to become your friend,” he winked, and you pursed your lips, trying not to lose your self-control. Be the bigger person.

“We aren’t friends Nakamura,” you simply pronounced, “Not  
anymore.”

“Sadly…but Nakamura sound so distant…what happened to  
Yoshio…what happened to baby…. or baby  
please!” he mocked. “I would love  
to hear those sound from your pretty mouth again….”

“Shut it you slime ball,” Shirabu pierced his eyes at Yoshio. “What are you  
doing here anyway?”

“Che-che-che,” Yoshio admonished, waving a finger in the former  
setter’s direction. “Shirabu-chan, don’t be rude and interrupt. I’m just  
offering something to Y/N-chan here. So my little pet…consider it…. if you need toget some tension relief…you know my number…”

“Yoshio, please stab yourself with a scalpel,” you declared and turned around to face the MRI scans eying the portrayed spine in front of  
you.

Car crash victim, 27…male…mild concussion and for some  
reason wow….

Yoshio whistled, comprehending the scans. “Damn….is from  
the car crash that was in the ER earlier?”

“Yup,” you said, glad that he was no longer using his  
flirting voice but rather his medical analysis tone.

“Bokujin-sensei is on hisway?” Yoshio asked, and you somehow didn’t like his tone. It was filled with anticipation.

“Should be here any minute,” Shirabu replied, irritated. “So  
why don’t you go buzz off and bother someone else.”

But before Yoshio could reply. Bokujin-sensei, the salt  
and pepper haired chief of neurosurgery came into the room.

“Ahhh, what do we have here,” he said, looking dreamy as  
always as he closed in. “Shirabu, why don’t you tell me what you see on those scans.”

Shirabu took a deep breath before he started to report.  
“The TNL spine film shows, a burst fracture at  
T12,” he said and pointed at the scan a pencil from his white coat, “here you  
can see evidence of instability. The Ventricle height loss is greater than 50%  
and both AOL and PLL are distributive.”

“Meaning? Nakamura?”

“He has a broken back, sir,” Yoshio replied. “Amazing  
that he is even able to walk…”

“Let’s hope we can keep it that way…” Bokujin-sensei  
muttered and looked at all three of you with a smile. “Any suggestions for an  
approach?”

The three of you considered the options of what to do  
next. You were honest. Neurosurgery wasn’t really your thing even back in med  
school, and Shirabu was so keen and fixed on cardiology that this was probably  
a hard case for him too.

“Decompression via cortectomy,” it was Yoshio who  
spoke up first and came up with a suggestion. “and reconstruction with strut  
graft and anterior instrumentation. Sir?”

“Good Nakamura,” Bokujin-sensei nodded approvingly and  
Yoshio grinned smugly at the other two residents.

“Um…” you suddenly remembered something about a case  
similar to this and cleared your throat before continued speaking, “Sensei….  
what about trans medical screws with a posterior approach?”

“Ahhhh,” Bokujin-sensei smiled at you widely. “Good,  
good… we’ll go with this option…L/N…Nakamura, prep the man for surgery and update me with his new stats…both of you are scrubbing in.”

After he left the room, Yoshio turned to Shirabu and  
jeered, “Sucks to be you pretty boy…me and my girl are doing a neuro-case while you’re stuck with whatever…”

“A case you snached right under from us two…” you snarled back, “and for the record. I’m not your girl…”

“Whatever you say sweets,” Yoshio rolled his eyes and  
grabbed the patient file from you. “I’m going to update the patient, you go andprep to look pretty during surgery… even though you somehow managed to come up with a clever idea…. I’ll be first assistant.”

He left the room, humming in satisfaction.

“You know….” Shirabu said with a grunt.  
“It would be great if you’d stab him with a scalpel  
and could make it look like an accident…. I’d totally vouch for you under  
oath.”

“I’m afraid charges of attempted murder are not well seen  
on applications for Pediatric surgeons,” you groaned, a grim expression on your face as you realized that you and Yoshio would spend the next 6-7 hours in close proximity.

“Damn…so we just have to hope that he slips on the slime  
he is spewing, trips and falls down the stairs?”

“You should never stop believing in miracles Shirabu…”

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“Seriously Omi? You could have gotten that!” Atsumu  
shouted at his spiker as he missed defending a faint from Hinata, who cheered loudly chest-bumping with Barnes.

“Get off my back, Miya,” Sakusa complained, whipping the  
sweat off his brows. He leaned forward on his knees, panting but agreed with the blonde setter that he could have gotten the ball if his thoughts weren’t occupied with you.

And it was damn frustrating him. What was your deal? A few days ago, everything seemed chill. You spend a day together in the city, held hands…freaking pinkies. He’d told you that the two of you were cool, and at the end of the day, HE HUGGED YOU! He came over his aversion to touching people and freaking hugged you back. DIDNT YOU KNOW THAT YOU WERE WORTH IT?  
WHY? You were smart enough!

Seriously, no wonder tons of people didn’t involve  
themselves in a relationship. Why weren’t you reading the signs? He let you sleep in his bed! TWICE NOW. Okay…that one time was by accident because he’d fallen asleep on you, but yesterday was not.

A strong slam woke him up from his daydream, and he hears  
an annoying voice barking at him.

“Sakusa ya scrub!” Atsumu roared once more. “You didn’t  
even move! Take a break if yer not up to shit!”

Sakusa blinked and turned his head to see the ball Bokuto  
just spiked, bouncing off in the distance. He didn’t even realize that they had resumed playing again.

“Sorry… I’m okay!” Sakusa yelled and shook his head. “I’m  
in again…”

“Better hope so!” Atsumu shouted as he prepped for a serve.

Half an hour later, Sakusa continued his brooding under the  
pressured stream of the gym showers. He managed to function again after his little episode, but their side still lost the training game, and Atsumu was  
pissed at him.  
He really was, and it was strange to hear the annoying  
setter calls him by his last name.

“Scrubs like ya don’t deserve no nickname Sakusa” he had  
practically spitted before Hinata dragged him away to the showers sending  
Sakusa an apologetic smile.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s alright Omi-Omi,” Bokuto had patted  
his back while he passed him. “Everyone’s got a bad day sometimes…but half ofthe points was due my awesome spiking anyway…”

“Sakusa…” Meian and Coach Foster had said, waving him  
towards them, “Is something bothering you? The trip? Are you anxious?”

“Sorry coach, captain…just personal…heavy thoughts…” he  
had muttered under their concerned gazes.

“Talk to us if something is bothering you…” Meian said  
and gripped his shoulder. “Go get under the shower.”

So he did. He ignored Atsumu, Hinata, and Bokuto’s gazes  
as he entered the locker room and slammed his locker before heading under the shower.  
He disregarded Barnes and Inuaki coming into the locker room after him. He waited until the chatting died down before he got out of the shower in hopes of being alone.

He was wrong; Atsumu, Hinata, and Bokuto were sitting on  
the bench waiting for him.

“Get lost…this is not a peep show,” Sakusa muttered,  
grabbing his clothes from the shower.

“That’s not very nice Omi-Omi,” Bokuto gasped. “What’s  
going on?”

“Nothing… I’m just…”

“Cut the crap,” Atsumu sharply interrupted. “Is it yersiblings botherin’ ya?”

“Haven’t talked to them in a while.”

“Do I have to worm everythin’ out of ya? “the setter groaned and sat down next to the spiker and attempted to put a hand on his knee  
but didn’t. “Is it Y/N?”

They saw Sakusa’s shoulders sag a little, and they knew.

“What’s wrong Omi-senpai? Did two two fight?” Hinata sat  
down on the other side of Kiyoomi and shared a concerned glance with Atsumu.

Bokuto leaned against the lockers across from Sakusa and  
crossed his arms.

“It’s Nothing… it’s just,”

“Look mate, we can’t help ya if yer ain’t tell us what’s  
goin’ on” Atsumu sighed and stretched his legs out.

So Sakusa told them what was bothering him. Or at least  
tried to. Surprisingly, his three teammates didn’t seem to judge him for his  
thoughts.

“So you are just very bad at communicating your feelings.”  
Hinata concluded. Sounding much more mature than he usually tended to act like:

“That’s okay…some people just have a problem with verbally expressing their  
thoughts…but Omi-senpai…you have to be clear in your intentions otherwise the  
two of you will just orbit around each other.”

“I thought I was being clear,” Sakusa whispered, and  
Atsumu snorted.

“Yeah, but the two of you are the biggest and most  
awkward dorkwards I’ve ever seen.”

“Rich coming from you…” Sakusa answered, but Atsumu just  
laughed.

“At least I can say that I was able to relate my  
feelings… didn’t I Shoyō?”

“Loud and clear Tsumu,” Hinata grinned, and Sakusa thought  
about that one practice where Atsumu had yelled.

One day I’ll toss a ring on that finger of yers!

“That doesn’t work for everyone,” he whispered dryly.

“You know Omi-kun,” Bokuto said, “Keiji and I are also not  
the best at words… they’re too hard for me sometimes and Keiji overthinks toomuch for his own sake….”

“So what did you do…”

“Well…I was trying to figure that out myself when he  
kissed me” Bokuto grinned with a shrug. “That was a pretty clear sign….”

“Yeah, just give ‘er a smooch…” Atsumu shrugged and stood  
up, patted Sakusa’s shoulder shortly.

Then grabbed Hinata’s hand and started singing a melody from a Disney movie he’d watched as a child once and spun the orange-haired player around.

Sakusa closed his eyes. Hoping he saw wrong and that they didn’t just start dancing. He was wrong….and Atsumu called him a dork.  
He grumbled and stuffed the rest of his clothes into his bag as Bokuto finally recognized the song and starting singing along loudly.

_Sha-la-la-la-la-la, my, oh, my_  
_Look like the boy too shy._  
_He ain’t gonna kiss the girl._

Were those three players the same who just gave him  
decent advice a minute ago? Why did they now decide to share the same brain cell again?

“Okay you guys…why don’t you just shut up?” Sakusa  
muttered and leaned his hands against the locker sides and watched them. The three now put their arms around each other and sang loudly while swaying side to side in a straight line. Maybe he should consider a transfer to the Schweden  
Adlers….

He absentmindedly shut the locker, then started yelling  
because of the sudden pain in his left hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bokujin means Shepherd in Japanese. :)  
> The chief of neurosurgery is Dr. Shepherd
> 
> Next Chapter will be up on Friday.


	3. Someone bring me down to land

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Shirabu Kenjiro, hated his life right now. Not only did that jerk face of Yoshio Nakamura steal his patient and now you were stuck with him in a long-ass surgery for hours while he was barfed on by a drunk in the ER, he was also left with all the charts of your patients.

Why? He was a good friend, that’s why? After all he was your work-husband and you were his work-wife…ugh…now he was starting to use those idiotic terms you introduced to him.

  
According to you, work-husband and work-wives had each other’s back while at work, whether a coffee a second opinion or helping out  
Since, you had been staying here for longer than necessary and he wanted you to get out of the hospital asap and deal with that poodle haired germaphobe of a roommate. Oh yeah...roomate his ass..... So yeah, he was doing your charting …. you’d left your little notebook with him for a reason.

He went to change into another pair of mint green scrubs after he’d been barfed on before was able to watch a little of the surgery from the gallery, and had to admit that from what he could see Nakamura was good at what he was doing. This frustrated him even more.

His day couldn’t get more irritating …but then he got paged for an VIP patient I the ER. He was told by an ER nurse that the patient had requested L/N-sensei, but since she wasn’t available Shirabu had been the next option.

So he looked at the little examination room that was closed off by large windows with shutters on them,from other patients in the ER. It was usually reserved for bigger Trauma's, since it gave a little bit more privacy. Sometimes, if the hospital had special patience, Criminals or like in this case VIP patients they would be lead into the room, so other's wouldn't gawk at them.

When he came into the separate patient room to see who that mystery person was, he wanted to turn around and leave…transfer to another hospital…maybe another country.He heard that they were selling one way tickets to Mars these days….

Four Professional Volleyball Players were looking at him. One of them, the closest thing to a humanized tangerine colored bouncy ball grinned at him in recognition. Hinata Shoyō. The tall blonde reacted to this darting his eyes between Shirabu and Hinata and narrowed them.  
Shirabu felt a little threatened by Atsumu Miya.  
Then there was a hysterically nervous looking, yellow-eyed, buff man Bokuto Kōutarō that seemed intimidated by the skeleton poster on the wall and of course a somehow more brooding version of Jon Snow.

Poodle haired Sakusa Kiyoomi...great.

“Ah…” Shirabu acknowleged and glanced at the chart in his hands. _Sakusa Kiyoomi, slammed his left hand in a locker. Abresions and one large cuts and swealling._ “So….um…Sakusa-san…tell me what happened.”

Shirabu grabbed some latex gloves and a mask and approached Sakusa who was icing his hand.

The dark haired Volleyball player grumbled at his touch “I already did tell that nurse earlier”

Shirabu sighed and checked the movement in his finger. “I still need to hear it from you…”

“Slammed a locker into my hand….”he stated rolling his eyes.

“Pain?”

“Duh”

“Pain, duh…” Shirabu nodded, was this the same guy you described as fun to talk to? “Articulate…. alright. How is the pain? From 10 to 1”

“I’d say a 4”

“Can you move your fingers?”

“Yes…but it hurts a little…”

“Hm…” Shirabu examined the hand and started cleaning the cut across and put some crème on it.

Then glanced back as a young nurse in training, Sato, timidly came into the room “Ahh…Sato-san…. please accompany Sakusa-san to get his hands x-rayed…. I’m sure you are aware of the VIP patient protocol.”

“Yes, Shirabu-sensei,” the nurse nodded and approached the player squeaking. “If you please follow me.”

“Be nice to her…she is just a first year,” Shirabu said as Sakusa passed by.

“I know…” Sakusa comment as he followed the blonde nurse out of the room “I’ve drank my respect-the-nurses-juice…”

  
“Y/N really ha an influence on that guy” Shirabu scoffed and took off his gloved, then glanced at the rest of the three players. “Sup?”

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Your back was killing you, but nothing could take away the joyous feeling from you as you stretched out after that successful surgery. You even smiled at Yoshi, who did a good job in the surgery. Jerk or not, he was a decent surgeon even if he developed some type of god complex when it came to neuro.

“Tired huh?” he asked as your back cracked a little and the two of you made your way down to the ER.

“Kind of,” you said and put on your white coat again “My legs are a little bit stiff and sore…”

“I have suggestion…” Yoshio grinned and shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his own coat. “Why don’t you put them on my shoulders and I’ll take care of you…”

“Yoshio” you stated, disinfected your hands as you walked by a dispenser and rolled your eyes “Do you know how to spell sexual harassment complaint? If not you better learn, because you’re about to get one if you don’t stop.”

“Getting feisty Y/N,” he smirked as the two of you entered the ER and grabbed new mask and gloves. “Gotta say…that’s making you a lot more attractive…”

“Yoshio I swear to God!” you started but was interrupted by a muffled yell and the sound of something heavy slapping against a window…a bird?

You turned to the sound of the voice.

“Y/N-SAN!” Hinata Shoyō’s face was pressed against the window of a private examination room. He had spread the half-closed shuttered aside to have a closer look at him. Totally ignoring the use of having a private room.

“Sho?” you babbled and saw that behind him were Shirabu, Miya and Bokuto. What happened? You quickly got into the room as Atsumu pulled Hinata from the window.  
“What are you guys doing here? Are you okay?”

“Omi-kun slammed his hand into his locker…he’s radioing right now?” Bokuto explained suddenly very excited and pointed at her coat “You really look cool in that.”

“Kiyoomi is hurt? Is it his right hand? Kenjiro…where is he” you whipped your hand to your favorite colleague who rolled his eyes and turned to Atsumu.

“See…that’s why we are not allowed to treat family and friends…” then he turned back to you and shrugged. “You heard Bokuto-san…he’s in radiology…getting an x-ray just to make sure…but his hand seemed fine…it’s his left…”

“That’s good to hear,” you nodded, glanced over the players who were blinking back at you and wanted to say something else. Ask which room he was scanned and ask for Kiyoomi’s chart but was interrupted by the beeping alarm of a code blue.

“We need some help over here!” You heard Yoshio yell from the ER and both Shirabu and you rushed to action.

“What’s going on?” you urged the nurse as she rapidly explained “Female 28, came in because she complained about shortness of breath and chest pains, I was about to admit her when she started suddenly stopped responding.”

From your peripheral vision you saw more people moving. Shirabu moved to the woman’s arm, checking her pulse, while you moved to the other side of the patient.

“Alright, starting CPR!” Shirabu yelled, and disinfected the woman’s arm to get access to her veins. “Y/N do the chest compressions. I’ll do the IV access. Someone call an attending!”

“Starting on chest compression!” you yelled and rhythmically started pressing on the woman’s chest counting to thirty in your mind and said “Better prep some Epi just in case!”

“Nakamura-sensei, here the crash cart,” another nurse said and you quickly glanced up to see him set up the crash cart next to where Shirabu stood

“Y/N remove your hands for a sec …I need to get the sticker’s on,” Yoshio calmly said.

28…29….30! You held up the hands so he was able to put the pads onto her chest and back. Then resumed the compressions.1…2…3…4..

“She’s in V-fib” Yoshio declared. “We need to shock her. Charging at 150 joules…charged. All clear!”

You stepped away from the patient so that Yoshio, was able to shock her. Her body jerked a little, nothing happened.

“Resuming compression!” you said and stepped on the gurney to be able to press a little stronger, with the added height.

“What’s going on here? Update!” Thank goodness, an attending arrived. Dr. Yang and was briefed by the nurse “Have we given any med’s yet?”

“No meds, yet we have IV access” Shirabu commented, he’d taken over the bag valve mask from the nurse, but now needed her to take it up again so he could put the drugs throught the IV.

“Let’s give one milligram of Epi” Dr. Yang asses then glanced at you counting with each breah.“Good compression L/N.”

“One milligram of epi is in” Shirabu told.

“Looks like we have a good airway and you’re ventilating” the attending analyzed then said as he glanced at the machines… “She’s in V-fib…we need to shock again….”

“Charging at 200 joules” Yoshio said “Everybody stand clear…shocking…shock delivered!”

1…2…3…4…You resumed compressions grimacing “C’mon…c’mon!” 15…16…17…18  
C’mon damn heart, start beating 24…25…26  
Your breath was heavy, just as the burning in your arms.

“Alright,” Dr. Yang assessed. 27….28….29…30. “She has a pulse with compressions…hold compressions…..good we have pulse…!”

You stopped the compressions, and sighed in relieve and stepped down from the gurney as the other’s around you relaxed. You were still breathing heavily, hands twitching from your former movements.

“Good job guys…” your attending nodded at the whole team.“Shirabu secure the airway and let’s call the ICU…”

“Y/N can take over my patient?” Shirabu asked glancing at you and nodded towards the private room.

“Yeah, sure…” you nodded and caught Dr. Yang looking at you.

“L/N…make sure that’s your last one for the day…you’ve been here way too long…” she smiled gently “Get some rest alright?”

“Yes, sensei…” you nodded and watched as they wheeled the woman out of the ER. Your shoulders slumped as the adrenaline rush slowly faded and you felt the soreness of your shoulders and arms. Chest compressions usually wouldn’t be a problem, but you were so tired that your arms felt like they were filled with pudding.

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“Need some relaxation princess?” Yoshio smirked as he swaggered a step towards you, he’d told a nurse to put the crash cart away because he needed to finish some sutures on another patient in the ER. “My offer still stands.”

“Move or I’ll hurt you Nakamura” you rolled your eyes and felt his presence looming over you. Damn you were too tired to deal with him. You turned away.

“Nakamura?? Ohhh is that so?” he purred and stepped closer behind you and had the audacity to put a hand on your ass and squeeze. You reacted instinctively, swirled around and slapped him hard enough so his face whipped to the other side.

“Get your dirty hands off me you little germ,” you spat and promptly shoved him aside to have access to the bin to dispose of your gloves. A little surprised that he didn’t say or do anything you looked up and back at him. His face burning red from and your fingermarks were prominent on his cheek but Nakamura wasn’t looking at you.

He stared at someone across the room, with a little fear in his eyes. You followed his gaze. There at the door to the private room was Kiyoomi. Who’d just returned from radiology with the nursing student, his gaze was deadly, ready to kill.

Then he caught your eyes and his expression softened…and he looked proud almost. Your body moved before your mind finished comprehending and you closed the distance.

“Your hand…. how’s your hand…” you mumbled as a greeting and noticed the look Nurse Sato gave you, she giggled a little.

“That’s for you to assess Dr. McStuffins” Sakusa chuckled and vaguely gestured to the folder in Sato’s hands.

“Here Sensei” she mumbled “Do you need me?”

“Ah…thank you Sato, I’m good so far…thank you” you smiled and patted her shoulder. She beamed at you, told you that it was a good slap, and waved goodbye to Sakusa who nodded at her.

“I hope you didn’t scare her?”

“I would never” Kiyoomi rolled his eyes and you smiled a little.

“Let’s get inside” you said and opened the door to the patient room “I’m taking over since Kenjiro had to go to the ICU.”

Bokuto, Hinata and Atsumu who clearly had watched everything that happened in the ER from the window (the shutters were pulled up), tried to look like they were very busy as they sat on the patient bed and read the chart on the wall that depicted the human skeleton.

“That was like in a movie!” Bokuto suddenly blurted out “Did you sing ‘Staying alive’ doing the compressions? I’ve heard that you should do that.”

“Yes, you can…” you smiled “But I didn’t do that…better not to jinx things in the ER…”

"Ohh" Atsumu grinned "So those things are true...like the fact that you should never say the q-word in a ER?"

"Oh, that's one thing you should never, ever do" you nodded 

"So you shouln't say qui" Atsumu began

"DON'T finish that Miya...or I'll hurt you."

“And I know now, that wou would be able too.That slap, by the way, was first class,” Atsumu approved gesturing the chef’s kiss “With some practice, you could serve a killer spike don’t you thing Sho.”

“Definitely….” Hinata agreed nodding fiercely in approval. Bokuto on the other hand was thinking very hard about what this mysterious q word could be.

“Alright…you three…off the patient bed and Kiyoomi hop on….” You said and stuck the x-rays of Sakusa’s hand onto the view box and flicked on the light.

There was a collective OHHHH from the Hinata, Bokuto and Atsumu and you grinned as you assed the scans.

"Omi-omi", Bokuto gawked "Your bones!!"

“Did the radiologist say anything?” you turned halfway to Kiyoomi after glancing over the scans.

“He wrote something down on the chart…” Kiyoomi simply shrugged and you nodded glancing at the chart.

You pressed your thumb against your lips as you viewed the x-ray again.“I don’t see any fractures…thankfully…but there is swelling right?”

Sakusa nodded and took off the ice pack on his hands and showed it to her.

“But it doesn’t hurt that much anymore…it's gone down...actually”

“I’d say we bandage your hand… Shirabu cleaned the cut already, so there shouldn’t be a risk for infection…” you assessed and got out your pager to call the ER attending Hunto-sensei. “I just need to double check with my boss but you’re fine to go…otherwise…just gimme a sec…”

“Thank goodness,” Hinata exhaled into Atsumu’s shoulder “I thought Omi-senpai was really hurt.”

“Will he be able to play?” Bokuto asked still a bit converned.

“No today and not tomorrow…but if he keeps putting ice on it and the swelling goes down. I don’t see a problem why he shouldn’t.” you said and smiled as the door opened and Hunto-sensei came in.

“Ah…L/N…. you just need to double check?” he said and glanced at the X rays, the chart and Sakusa’s hand “No fractures…good…swelling and a cut that’s been treater…. Sakusa-san, Y/N will bandage your hand and you’re free to go…you too Y/N…Yang-sensei just told me that I should send you home…”

“Why is Yang-sensei bullying me to go home?” you complained and he laughed and gave a firm squeeze to your shoulder. 

“Because you, child are a surgical junkie, have been here since 2 in the morning and just finished assisting in a 6-hour long surgery…Go home" he chuckled and patted your shoulder fatherly and nodded to Sakusa, and his entourage “Y/N…back entrance for our VIP patients…”

“Sure…” you said and looked for the bandages in the drawers.

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Once finished bandaging you updated Sakusa’s chart and quickly went to your locker to get your things while he was discharged. You had put your white coat into the locker but remained dressed in the mint green scrubs because you didn’t have anything to change into.

“How did you guys get here?” You asked as the boys followed you through the halls of the hospital, getting quieter as the evening continued. “Kiyoomi couldn’t drive…and all of your cars are two seaters.”

“Bokkun was in one car and Sho and I in the other” Atsumu said and slung an arm around Hinata who leaned into his embrace and wrapped his arm around Atsumu’s waist.

“Ah…right…well I guess I’ll take him home then,” you said and yawned and searched for your car keys in your bag.

“Nee Y/n-chan,” Bokuto piped up “Are you sure you can drive…you look exhausted….”

“I’m just not wearing any make-up Bokuto….” You joked and shrugged as you stepped out on the parking lot “I’ll be just fine…”

“Call us when you’re at home…” Atsumu said, then glanced at Sakusa “You know what to do Omi-Omi…right?”

“Right?” Bokuto pressured and you wondered what the hell they were meaning. To ice his hand?

“Yeah…right…” Sakusa grumbled and glared at his teammates and followed you along to your car.

“Tsumu…. can when we get home…. can we watch The Little Mermaid?” you heard Hinata ask. Okay, what the was that about?

The ride back was awkward because neither of you spoke. You were much too focused on the road and on driving to be able to speak and Kiyoomi seemed deep in thought…or maybe he was just tired too. You caught him glancing at you a few times, as if he wanted to say something…but didn’t feel like it.

And you knew that something was up and prompted your heartbeat to increase again.  
Something was coming, and it made you anxious again and it was mixing with your fatigue, a dangerous combination… you sighed and rested your head on the steering wheel once you’ve parked and turned the ignition off. Trying desperately to control your treacherous pulse and breathing.

“You can already go in…I just need a moment…” you murmured and heard that Sakusa opened his door and shut it. You heard his steps going away…then returning closer than before and he opened the door on your side.

“C’mon…” he said, barely whispering and held out is unwrapped hand “Let’s go inside….”

Let’s go home…

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Kiyoomi had showered first, like usually and you shoved some leftover food in your mouth while waiting. You two still hadn’t talk and your anxiety was growing, urged by your exhaustion to run laps in your mind.

After eating, you went into your room, sat on your bed for a bit, that damn mosquito was still there you heard it.

The sound of the shower stopped and it would be your turn soon, so you sighed as you pulled out some clothes to change into. Quickly rush into the bathroom and drown your sorrows under the shower.

Huh? … a folded and freshly washed Black Jackals T-shirt in your closet.

You stared at it when Kiyoomi’ knocked at your door and peaked in.

“You can go shower now…” Kiyoomi’s voice interrupted your thoughts and you practically dashed past him, over to the bathroom, once more avoiding eye contact.

Somehow managed to relax under the hot shower mainly because it probably burned down your first layer of skin, while you massaged the tension out of your neck muscles. To waste more time and drag a possible confrontation out you took a long ass time in the bathroom afterwards to dry your hair, braiding it, then putting it in a bun. You read every label of every product in your cleansing routine and moisturized…twice. Because you hoped that Kiyoomi somehow would get tired and go ahead and sleep.

However, when you came out of the bathroom and stalked over to your room, quietly not to make any noise, he was sitting in the dark living room on the couch…waiting.

“Took you long enough” he stated, dark eyes glancing at you and tilted his head slightly “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Um…into my room and to bed…” you murmured and watched as he stood up from the couch and came over to you.

“Mosquitos have a life span of seven days….and you’re AC is still broken…I’ve called a repair company this morning…but they can’t come until Monday…”

“Oh…right….” You muttered and shrugged “I’ll order an electric fan for the time being….I can go to the shops tomorrow and get one…”

“Yeah right...” he snorted then took your hand and pulled you along with him “C’mon…”

You stumbled after him, into his room. That was cool but a tad warmer than yesterday

“The temp okay?” Kiyoomi asked as he shut the door “I think it was a tad too cool for your liking…”

He set the temperature higher because you had been freezing last night.

You nodded slightly and let yourself be lead to the bed by Kiyoomi.

Did he really care for you enough to do that? Why?  
Don’t get attached Y/n…  
Just don’t bring it up, one voice said in your head …say something… something in your chest fluttered. Don’t do it…keep your head out of the clouds, feet on the ground. But the gravity pulling you back made you ran.

Your thoughts were racing, running a freaking marathon, even though you were exhausted. Tired of this feeling of uncertaintly. 

“Kiyoomi,” you croaked and your eyed prickled as they teared to a well “I…. I’m sorry…but…I really…I don’t understand”

You heard your own voice whimper and pressed your hand on your lips, because you felt the bottle up anxiety rise up in your chest.

You were so freaking tired...utterly exhausted from running…

“What…. what is this…I’m confused…what is this?” it was mere a breath, hardly a whisper…but Kiyoomi heard you loud and clearly.

“Oh, Y/n…” Kiyoomi sighed, squeezed your hand and glanced at you softly.

Softly…he looked at you softly…why wasn’t he furious…why wasn’t he angry with you?  
You’ve been such a jerk…practically ghosting him last night. He didn’t deserve that.

“I’m sorry too…” he muttered and you felt your chest squeeze a little at those words.

What was he sorry for?  
You knew that phrase…heard it and his tone was indicating a finality, was this a break up. You weren’t even together. Shit NO! NO Please!  
You knew you shouldn’t have gotten attached to him.

“I should have made myself clear…clearer” he added, softly and this confused you even more than before.

Clearer? What was he implying? Why did your heart flutter at these words? Why did it make tears, run down your cheeks? Hot and salty. You were shaking… as he pulled you with him to the bed  
Your legs felt heavy and stiff, even after the shower but yet you somehow floated towards him.

His voice, like a moth drawn to a flame…. don’t do it. Your head said. Moth’s get burned…

“C’mere…” he murmured and sat down on the bed tapping a spot on the side “Sit down…you’re trembling…”

Gravity came over you, heavy and strong and your exhaustion took over your shaking legs and you sat down.

“ Y/N….I’m not good with words …I admit it…” Sakusa mumbled staring down at his wrapped hand “And I realized that maybe I’m too timid to properly communicated…and I’ve send some mixed signals…soo..”

He waited, paused to clear his throat because his voice was getting heavy.

“Allow me….Y/N” he said and raised hand to cup your face and whispered. “Allow me to show you…what _this_ is…. please”

He raised his other bandaged hand reached out and stroked his knuckled against your cheek, when his eyes quickly glanced down on your lips, then back into yours. Holding the gaze

Allow him to show you what _this_ is? What did he mean by that?

Once more, his eyes darted down on your lips, then back into your eyes…searching for something…approval? .

No…..consent. Your consent…. for….

Oh?  
Oh!

…. _Oh_!

You nodded and felt his breath feather against your lips as he whispered hoarsely “Alright, little plum. Let me make myself clear…”

He leaned down and whenhis lips brushed against yours they were light…uncertain and soft.  
Waiting for something…a response?You felt your heartbeat thumping in your chest, heavy loud and clear.

Urging you…go on…be brave.

  
You leaned in, closing the distance between you and responded.

Your lips met his and all of a sudden it was like the fog lifted, the signs were clear as you pressed into him, breathing him in as he pulled you closer, gripping your cheek ever so gently with his hands. A sigh of relief exhaling in his chest, making your heart flurry in response as the tears streamed down your cheeks, happy and relieved when his thumb stroked over your cheek. 

You felt yourself hiccup and the two of you paused, he pulled away and just the little and strokes his thumb against your cheek remained , to wipe away a tear that had escaped your eyes.

“Y/N,” he said…nothing else…. just your name. It was a whisper, a prayer...a question.  
“Kiyoomi…” you responded and as you locked eyes it all made sense...no longer a whisper, a prayer....it was an answer.

Suddenly, like a moth drawn to a flame,your hands found its way into his hai and his roamed to the back of your neck and the two of you pulled each other back, so that your lips crashed onto each other. Gripping eachother close like a lifeline

Intoxicated.Hungry for more. Feeling like you were floating, no longer tethered to this earth.

And you didn’t want to come down from this feeling of weightlessness…Gravity didn’t exist for you at this moment.

Or no...it was better…. you’ve found a new Gravity…. pulling you in tugging at your lips, testing its waters.

And you tested yours, in response until both of you ran out of air.

Kiyoomi sighed and leaned his forehead against yours, trying to catch his breath and continued to wipe the tears away that were still running down your face and smirked a little “C’mon…it wasn’t that bad was it?

You chuckled, which turned into another round of hiccups that made him throw his head back and laugh as he pulled you in, your head bumping into his chest.

His laughter mixed with his heartbeat vibrated in his chest. Kiyoomi gently moved his hands to your shoulders and held you arm's lenght apart to look at you for a moment. Thene closed his eyes and he took a deep breath as he leaned his forehead back against yours and murmured “Was I at least clear enough this time?”

“Well...” you muttered and saw his eyes snap open suddenly. “You have to make yourself a little clearer…again?”

You snaked your arms around his neck again and Kiyoomi murmured, smirking against your lips “Then allow me to elaborate…little plum-”

The two of you sat there on the bed, tangled in each other. Responding to each other’s kisses, feathery and light pecks but also some that were hot and steamy and gave hints and visions of something that those types of kissed could lead to…but not today…

Both of your exhaustion became apparent when one of your steamier make outs resulted that your gasps for air resulted in a hearty yawn.

“I’m almost offended…” Sakusa chuckled, pressing a peck on top of your nose.You had ended up straddling his lap, his large hands on your back rubbing soothing circles as he pulled you close and softly pressed his lips onto your forehead “Let’s go to sleep, plum.”

Kiyoomi didn’t need to tell you twice. He fell backwards into the sheets and you let him pulled you onto his chest and an arm around you, his bandaged hand grazing over your cheek once more, tugging hair behind your ear.And you closed your eyes, while Sakusa reached out to turn off the light and pulled the blanket over the both of you.

Fatique washed over you, heavy as you relaxed welcoming the embrace of sleep.

“Y/n” Kiyoomi said suddenly into the silence.

“Hm…”

“That was nice and all…” Kiyoomi murmured “But I’m still a little offended that you were crying…was I really that bad?”

“Shut up, you big baby and go to sleep.” you lightly hit his chest with your hand.

“Well, sweetheart” he breathed into your hair, smiling a little and hugged you closer. “Just deal with it…I’m your baby now…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ch. 2 and 3 Were lyrics from the same song  
> "satellites* *"by Enter Shikari
> 
> Happy New Year's folks !  
> Thank you for your support in 2020.  
> Let's make 2021 a better year <3  
> Stay healthy and hydrated.
> 
> Love Mo


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